Welcome to the theater zone

This space started as the syllabus of a class I was thinking of teaching called, "I got cast; NOW WHAT?" Every other theater blog mainly concerns "picking the perfect monologue" or "finding an agent." Not this one. I don't care enough about the business aspects of the art. I want to help people answer questions they don't know to ask, like "Why are we not allowed to whistle?" or "I have to write a bio! Help!" Speaking of which, because that is one of the main questions I hear from new actors, here is my not-really easy-to-follow but definitely complete and entertaining tutorial on writing your bio.

Simple Theater Bio templates (for actors w/o theater degrees)

When you have worked at the theater before

(your stage name) Is (proud/excited/Happy) to be back at (name of Theater). You may remember (them/her/him) as  (name of character) in  (name of the last play you did there).  (He/She/They) (has/have) also been seen recently as (character) in (last play you did not at this theater) at (Name of that theater) and as (favorite role you have played recently) at (name of theater). (He/She/They) would like to thank (director of current play) for allowing (Her/Him/Them) this opportunity and (Her/His/Theirs’s) (Partner/parent/family) (insert name if appropriate) for all of their love and support.  (If you still have space and you have a project coming up put that here) (your name) will next be seen at (theater you will be at) production of  (play) starting (when the play starts)

Example:

Beulah Vega is happy to be back at Beulah’s Theater. You may remember her as Beulah in Beulah’s Play. She has also been seen recently as Beulah in Not Beulah’s Play at Not Beulah’s Theater, and as Beulah in Beulah’s favorite play at another non-beulah-theater. She would like to thank Beulah for allowing her this opportunity and her family for all of their love and support. Beulah will next be seen in Beulah’s theater production of Beulah II starting in September.

When you have not worked at this theater but have worked at others

(your stage name) Is (proud/excited/Happy) to be at (name of Theater). (He/She/They) (has/have) been seen recently as (character) in (last play you did not) at (Name of that theater), as (favorite role you have played recently) at (name of theater) and as (role you got the best reviews for) in (name of theater)  (critically acclaimed/award winning/thought provoking) production of (name of play).(He/She/They) would like to thank (director of current play) for allowing (Her/Him/Them) this opportunity and (Her/His/Theirs’s) (Partner/parent/family) (insert name if appropriate) for all of their love and support.  (If you still have space and you have a project coming up put that here) (your name) will next be seen at (theater you will be at) production of  (play) starting (when the play starts)

Example:

Beulah Vega is happy to be at Beulah’s Theater. She has been seen recently as Beulah in Not Beulah’s Play at Not Beulah’s Theater, as Beulah in Beulah’s favorite play at another non-beulah-theater, and as Beulah in Beulah’sTheater critically acclaimed production of Beulah the Revenge. She would like to thank Beulah for allowing her this opportunity and her family for all of their love and support. Beulah will next be seen in Beulah’s theater production of Beulah II starting in September.

When this is your first show Ever:

(your stage name) Is (proud/excited/Happy) to be making (Their/His/Her) theatrical debut at (name of Theater). (He/She/They) are normally seen in (their day job/at school/with their family) Where (She/He/They) are (job title/degree subject/etc). (He/She/They) would like to thank (director of the current play) for allowing (Her/Him/Them) this opportunity and (Her/His/Theirs’s) (Partner/parent/family) (insert name if appropriate) for all of their love and support.  (If you still have space and you have a project coming up put that here) (your name) will next be seen at (theater you will be at) production of  (play) starting (when the play starts)

Example:

Beulah Vega is happy to be making her theatrical debut at Beulah’s Theater. She is normally seen backstage at the circus where she has worked for 20 years as the lion tamer. She would like to thank Beulah for allowing her this opportunity and her family for all of their love and support. Beulah will next be seen in Beulah’s theater production of Beulah II starting in September.

When they don’t allow you to thank your family

Many community theaters are now adopting this standard.  They claim it is to make the program seem more ‘professional.’ However, what it actually means is that this theater's board is being run by evil revenants who have no family and hate humanity. Please do not complain to the Stage Manager or Director; they have no power to change this unless they are experts at slaying the undead.  Do send a written complaint to the head of marketing. CC the Artistic Director, Executive Director, Production Manager, and Board President, explaining that your loved one has sacrificed a lot to allow you to help the company create their art and that it is a small price to pay to enable you to continue to work for this company in good faith.

In Conclusion

In the end, this is Community Theater. There is very little to “screw up” in how you represent yourself unless you plan to move up to professional theater.  If your favorite role ever was as the second donkey in Charlotte’s Web, that’s great! The bio is where you can represent what you see as your art; never be ashamed of how many or how few roles you have or what those roles were. In the end, what matters is that you are here now.